Outside (is it over?)

Okay, first off: this is gonna be long, and probly not that interesting either. I'm just gonna be ranting and raving and making very little sense (as usual). So here goes(oh, and by the by, my CDs got here and All Killer No Filler, Does This Look Infected?, Dishwalla, and And You Think You Know What Life's About are all great; haven't listened to many of the others yet):

So, I was typing earlier this morning (well, I 'spose its more like noon right now, but whatever) and my brother and his friend were bugging me to make them lunch. Being the wonderful brother (hahahahahahahaha) that I am, I made some hotdogs for them and all that stuff and they were sated and left me alone. I was going back to the playroom to keep working on my story (2nd draft of Heart of the Cold aka Iron Sky coming at ya!) and I was listening to one of my new Dishwalla CDs. The front door was open a little and I looked outside and realized how damn bright and nice it looked outside, especially compared to inside. Now, most of this was just because the lights were off inside, for the most part, so it was pretty damn gloomy.

Then it hit me, like a big, fat, heavy, sharp, angry rock that has been chasing me around trying to hit me in the head and I finally got slowed down enough for it to catch up with me and smack up square in the brow. So, big-monster literary metaphors aside (wait, no, its a simile not a metaphor) this is what I figured out:

Ever since about 4th grade I've had a little video game infatuation going on, and for a while it was fine cause everyone else was into video games 24-7 to and we'd all go and play Super Smash Bros and Pokemon at Dan's house and it was fun and stuff. But after 5th grade I went to Edgewood and got into the little problem of having the same interests as my friends there, but we lived ~50 minutes away from each other so the whole going to someone's house and playing didn't really happen. And at the same time I started to lose touch with my friends, to the point that we hardlyt really had the same interest or anything like that any more. So I ended up--at home, mind you--slipping into my own little world of video games and writing and very little socializing, which, in retrospect, was not a very good thing, I suppose.

So, I have figured out that living in my own little dark computer world is not a great thing, and anyone whos reading this (ha, yeah, like that's gonna happen!) is probably thinking "Yeah, no shit you fucking retard!" but you'll have to forgive me, cause when the beast has you in its claws, its kinda hard to sometimes tell just what's going on. So now I am faced with a bit of a dilema and it's ALL MY FAULT, but thats ok. No one really cares other than me so I can take my sweet little time :p

Right, so knowing you have a problem is a great sign, right? Ha, I'd like to slug the fucker that made up that bullshit. Nah, doesn't really help too much, take my word for it. All it really does is get you all obsessed with solving the problem, and that can drive you fuckin nuts, but don't worry, non-existant reader, I'm not mad... yet.... hahahahahahaha!

So I'm stuck with the little problem of not wanting to be some loser who sits inside all day, but at the same time I don't really know what to do... Idk, I guess the main problem is that the only people I could hang with are from Fort and at the same time it's still gonna seem to people at Edgewood like I'm disconnected and stuff. Oh well. Damn I wish I could drive. So I guess I'm kinda screw-sideways by this whole thing. Why couldn't I just stay ignorant? Cause damn, Ignorance is fucking bliss!

Wait, no, I got it! I'll hang with Hans, Maz, Terisa, and other Fort people for now and just say "fuck you" to all the Edgewood queerdos who don't like it. There, problem not really solved. Cool.