koolaid!

Um, so yeah, weird titles and such forth aside I have generally good news. No, I have not found my sanity out there somewhere, but thanks to all of you out there who are concerned (not that there are any, but the longer I fool myself the better). Woo, went on a 40 minute bike ride and I not dead, but I'm not feeling chipper either. So there go my aspirations for ever riding in the Tour de France. Oh boo, like I care, I'll settle for getting published. That would be much nicer. Only question is which pays better? Probly writting unless you're Lance Armstrong/Jan Ulrich/Ivan Basso/George Hincape.
Righteo, so, all of that nonesense aside, I've found yet another webcomic that I like and unless the artist is a complete liar (and I doubt it [even if she is it still doesn't matter]) it ought to be update reguarly as well. As reguarly as MegaTokyo, and I've never found anyone else who even tries to do that, let alone succeed. So, we'll see about that one. Anyway, the webcomic is called Red String and it's good if you don't mind reading romance stuff. Yeah, I started reading Kanami, and it looks rather strange, no, repharase that, very strange, but it's Dan Kim, so what they hell do you expect. Oh, the address for Red String is http://redstring.strawberrycomics.com/ just in case you're interested.
You, hahahaha. Wow, I really do have myself covinced that someone is actually gonna read this all, so much the better, I suppose. And it's not like I really care all that much either.
I've been ironing out the problems with Holy is Thy Name while I've been working on Heart of the Cold. I reverted to the original draft on HotC, in case I haven't mentioned that before, mostly because I liked the long approach to Kirek-Felhar and I didn't like the whole underwater sequence with Felnohk, and that would've been an incredible pain in the ass to unwork, since it was most of the story. So, yes, it was far, far easier to just go back to the original draft and I've made about 60 pages of progress over my sporadic writing stints, which I suppose isn't bad for ~2 weeks of writing, especially since I now only have ~118 pages to go before I hit the 258 page finsih line. Don't ask me why it has to be 258 pages, it just must and if something must, well then there's just no damn way of changing it.
Okay, so back to HiTN. Anyway, I've been ironing some stuff out and have decided to make "rea world" Taeris into a girl and since I'm too lazy to make up a knew name and I like Ki'ara that's what it's gonna be. The whole blue hair thing is gonna be retained, but unlike Taeris in draft whatever-it-was (3 or 4, I don't remember) she's gonna have completely blue hair, not the streaky deal. So, she's gonna be something of rebel-girl, but not really. Okay, so here comes the first story with a definitively female character (inwardly thinking: shit, i'm gonna screw this one). Now, the challenge is just to keep her that way, and given my tendancies to smear everyone and make them all cookie-cutter-characters, well, jee, this is gonna be tricky. Ah, hell, I've got Jenny to pepper with questions (PS: karma [or is it kharma?] sucks and the bitch is dead [but she's not a bitch and she's not dead]).
I'm liking how this new idea is shaping up and now that I've given it some thinking and planning time I think that I might actaully (gasp) be able to finish this one. Okay, fine, so the 3rd time wasn't the charm, hell, it wasn't even the 4th, but I'll settle for 5th. It took a while, and the lesson from all of this is that I cannot just rush headlong into stories and expect it all to turn out nice and friendly. Another good example would be Takunarei, which sucked absolute ass, but then I did just sort swipe the main story idea for Code Lyoko because I was a pathetic loser who couldn't come up with an original story idea. Not that that's all that different from now, the only difference being I take a bit form here, a bit from there, throw some of my own ingredients in, cobble it all together, bake it with some love, blood, and naughty words, and ta da! Absolute shit! :)
The whole WWIesque part of the story, which has been the only real constant other than the character's name (and that's been shaky at best: Taeris, Black, Alsarin, and Novacaine, they all made appearnces and were the same character) is going to remain, though I'm almost questioning the rational to that, cause the whole little obsession that fueled it is long dead. No, wait, I need it, never mind. Church keeping Dual Minds (hey, cut me some slack with the shitty names, I just made that up off the top of my head; i've got time to work on it :p) seperate in VR with big company tech that they're paying for and which the companies want... why...? Okay, okay, so I've got some stuff to work out. Hey, at least I'm trying to put an honest effort into all of this.
Later...

PS i love koolaid! and milkduds! and fritos!
PPS seriously, read Red String, it's good, and the whole moms' getting drunk and having their daughters carrying them home thing was funny as hell.
PPPS "perfection is my direction, even if that's all i had..." lalalalalalala

Later...

melancholy

The title speaks for itself, I think. Well, main reason is cause of the goddamn new Haryy Potter book, but at the same time it was very good and was worth it entirely. Besides, I've got my writing groove back, just like I did after I read PXI and got in a similarly bad-yet-not-quite mood. Funny how incredibly good things can make you all sad, but happy at the same time. Okay, so PXI didn't make me happy, that was something else (kinda hard to have something so depressing like that make you happy).

Well, yes, I read the Half-Blood Prince in less than 24 hours--it took ~23 hrs and 30 minutes, in case you wanted to know. Yes, it was incredibly good, and the fact that it's more centered around the characters' personal lives rather than the "Voldemort's out to get us, let's go kill the bastard, but oh wait, no one belives us" theme that has heavily laced the other ones. Well, Harry still thinks someone's up to no good, and of course no one belvies him, but that's about it, and nothing comes of it until later on. No, what's really actually strange is that its not (CAUTION: spoilers coming; read at your own peril) Dumbledore getting whacked or anything that made me all moody, it was Harry going all noble and breakting up with Ginny and then deciding to skip his last year of school to hunt down Voldemort and having Ron and Hermione decide to stick with him. It was just sad, but almost heartening at the same time, sort of. Well, for a while I'm gonna be desperately waiting for the next book to come out, but once I get thoroughly absorbed by writing and the Otherland books, I think I'll be okay. Only problem is I think that Mountain of Black Glass is gonna have an at least semi-depressing ending, so I might be in this mood for a while.

Well, hell if I actually give a shit. Besides, I think a little video game immersion'll be good for me, make me feel better, ya know? That's all for now folks.

PS: "Thr truth serum is in your veins, saying things I can't explain..."

Outside (is it over?)

Okay, first off: this is gonna be long, and probly not that interesting either. I'm just gonna be ranting and raving and making very little sense (as usual). So here goes(oh, and by the by, my CDs got here and All Killer No Filler, Does This Look Infected?, Dishwalla, and And You Think You Know What Life's About are all great; haven't listened to many of the others yet):

So, I was typing earlier this morning (well, I 'spose its more like noon right now, but whatever) and my brother and his friend were bugging me to make them lunch. Being the wonderful brother (hahahahahahahaha) that I am, I made some hotdogs for them and all that stuff and they were sated and left me alone. I was going back to the playroom to keep working on my story (2nd draft of Heart of the Cold aka Iron Sky coming at ya!) and I was listening to one of my new Dishwalla CDs. The front door was open a little and I looked outside and realized how damn bright and nice it looked outside, especially compared to inside. Now, most of this was just because the lights were off inside, for the most part, so it was pretty damn gloomy.

Then it hit me, like a big, fat, heavy, sharp, angry rock that has been chasing me around trying to hit me in the head and I finally got slowed down enough for it to catch up with me and smack up square in the brow. So, big-monster literary metaphors aside (wait, no, its a simile not a metaphor) this is what I figured out:

Ever since about 4th grade I've had a little video game infatuation going on, and for a while it was fine cause everyone else was into video games 24-7 to and we'd all go and play Super Smash Bros and Pokemon at Dan's house and it was fun and stuff. But after 5th grade I went to Edgewood and got into the little problem of having the same interests as my friends there, but we lived ~50 minutes away from each other so the whole going to someone's house and playing didn't really happen. And at the same time I started to lose touch with my friends, to the point that we hardlyt really had the same interest or anything like that any more. So I ended up--at home, mind you--slipping into my own little world of video games and writing and very little socializing, which, in retrospect, was not a very good thing, I suppose.

So, I have figured out that living in my own little dark computer world is not a great thing, and anyone whos reading this (ha, yeah, like that's gonna happen!) is probably thinking "Yeah, no shit you fucking retard!" but you'll have to forgive me, cause when the beast has you in its claws, its kinda hard to sometimes tell just what's going on. So now I am faced with a bit of a dilema and it's ALL MY FAULT, but thats ok. No one really cares other than me so I can take my sweet little time :p

Right, so knowing you have a problem is a great sign, right? Ha, I'd like to slug the fucker that made up that bullshit. Nah, doesn't really help too much, take my word for it. All it really does is get you all obsessed with solving the problem, and that can drive you fuckin nuts, but don't worry, non-existant reader, I'm not mad... yet.... hahahahahahaha!

So I'm stuck with the little problem of not wanting to be some loser who sits inside all day, but at the same time I don't really know what to do... Idk, I guess the main problem is that the only people I could hang with are from Fort and at the same time it's still gonna seem to people at Edgewood like I'm disconnected and stuff. Oh well. Damn I wish I could drive. So I guess I'm kinda screw-sideways by this whole thing. Why couldn't I just stay ignorant? Cause damn, Ignorance is fucking bliss!

Wait, no, I got it! I'll hang with Hans, Maz, Terisa, and other Fort people for now and just say "fuck you" to all the Edgewood queerdos who don't like it. There, problem not really solved. Cool.